Breaking Up With Busy Week 2: Boundaries

In this week’s episode of “Breaking Up With Busy” we’re talking about the good, the bad, and the boundaries. Okay, we’re mostly talking about boundaries but we are having some of my favorite {hashtag} real talk.

So let’s start at the very beginning: what do boundaries have to do with “busy-ness?”

What do boundaries have to do with "busy-ness?"

I'll start with a story: last year I was having a tea date with one of my best friends and she was lamenting to me that she felt overwhelmed by the amount of people who wanted to take her to coffee and “pick her brain” about business (she is a business coach). She also had a few friends who thought because she worked from home and for herself that she had all the time in the world to grab lunch, or hang out. Her weeks were filling up and she was feeling behind on work.

This frustrating situation was happening because she had not drawn clear boundaries about her work time and her personal time.

Without clear boundaries our days fill up like items on a to do list!

Last year I listened to the audio version of “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown (I can't recommend this book more!) and he said something that really hit home: if you don’t set boundaries in your life, someone else will set them for you. Your boss, your friends, your family.

So the question I have for you is: are there places in your life where you need set clearer boundaries?

Are there places in your life where you need set clearer boundaries?

Here are a few examples:

Is Sunday your family day with your husband and your kids but you regularly cave into having friends or extended family over because you are "free" that day? Set that clear boundary. 

Do you have that one person in your life who shows up at your house uninvited and with no warning? We love our friends and family, but set that boundary that a phone call or an invite are needed for a visit.

Finally a tough one: do you bring work home with you? Or work lots of weekends? If your work is strangling your home and family life now is the time to set some clear boundaries. It may be difficult but an honest conversation with a boss or supervisor is the best way to set boundaries so you can work to your best ability. Often bosses and supervisors don't know you have too much on your plate unless you tell them. And, obviously, a conversation like this is one should be approached with tact and thoughtfulness.

To finish the story I began at the beginning: I recommended my friend set a price for a consultation on business, and let friends and family know her working hours.

These clear boundaries made it so much easier for her to say "I'd love to talk to you about business. You can visit my website to see what my one hour business consultations are all about!"

And to friends: "I work until 7pm but I'd love to grab a cocktail with you after!"

We can be empowered to choose boundaries over busyness!

We can be empowered to choose boundaries over busyness!

You are empowered to choose boundaries over busyness.  You are empowered to choose space over endless tasks, meetings, and work.

I believe you will find that setting those boundaries for yourself will also allow you to be present when working, relaxing, or spending time with loved ones. You won't be thinking about your busyness because you've eliminated some of the pressure and guilt. 

Finally, YOU GOT THIS! Start small, or go big! Just start. The more you set those boundaries the easier it will be. And the more spaciousness and clarity you will have in your daily life!

Please let me know how it goes this week to "break up with busy!" Next week we are diving into saying "No!" which is the next step to breaking up with busy!

Find me on Instagram (@earlgreyandpolkadots) and tell me how your journey is going!

With love & tea,